Thursday, July 25, 2013

Great Is Thy Faithfulness...

I love the hymn "Great If Thy Faithfulness", how it speaks of God's great mercies each day and how He is faithful to each and every one of us.  It is a song I hold on to, based on scriptures that are even more precious.

Lam. 3:22: It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
Lam. 3:23: They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. 
Lam. 3:24:  The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. 
Lam. 3:25:  The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. 

His mercies are amazing, and I sure don't deserve them!  I've needed each and every one He's given to us this week, as we've handled Mr. Kevin and his issues with Autism, MR, and Bi Polar disorder.  

He returned home on Friday from his stay at an acute care children's psychiatric hospital.  They changed his medicines around there, and took away the one that worked fairly well with helping him keep himself in check on extreme aggression.  The staff never saw the outbursts and injuries to self and others that we did.  So they removed the one for aggression, and left him with a mood stabilizer.  It seems now that his control of his aggression has went down, and the bi-polar cycles have went into full swing, with rapid cycling daily now.  

For those not familiar with bi-polar disorder, those who show it go from super highs and a "manic" stage, with almost giddiness, extreme happiness, and other things (it can lead to lots of sexual promiscuity and gambling and other things in adults, as they feel on a "high",  not so much in an 11 year old child).  Soon after, in rapid cycling, they crash down to an absolute opposite.  For Kevin it's within a couple of hours he's went swinging from a peak crashing down to the abyss.  He goes from rapid fire kisses and tons of hugs and lovey dovey sappy happiness to a dark, raging look and fists go flying, pounding on us, himself, the floor, screaming at the top of his lungs, and much more.  We see absolute opposites in a short amount of time.  

It hurts me a lot, not knowing how to ease the feelings inside him, not knowing how to help him be able to control himself and not hurt himself and others when he cycles.  Due to his age, the doctors aren't so willing to work with more medications, as he has the body size of a small adult, and thus also takes small adult levels of medications.  When he's in the dark rage look, there's no getting through to him, it's like he's locked everyone out.  

This is not beyond God's help, and it is to Him that I keep going to for answers.  He provides them, sometimes subtly, sometimes blatantly obvious, sometimes He has us wait.

While we're swimming along in the world of autism, MR, and bi polar disorders, we are heading toward another hospitalization for Mr. Kevin.  This time, it's more than 3 days.  It's to be from 30 to 60 days, to train with behaviors, work with him, and also have us learn some ways that may well work in helping him as well.  This is a facility that specializes in children with MR.

I'll be honest, I don't like it.  I don't want to send my child away for months.  It's not easy to think about it, go through the motions of allowing it, etc.  He has a plethora of agencies who work with us for him, and each one agrees it's time, that he is no longer safe at home.  Unfortunately, I have to agree with that, he's not safe at home anymore due to his behaviors, nor can I take him to church or many other public areas due to aggression.

It is taking the strength of Jesus to let him go and seek the treatment and therapy he needs.  I don't have that kind of strength on my own.  I have no choice but to put it all at His feet, for Him to take, as I don't have the mettle to do it myself.  I can't--but He can.

He is faithful, great is His faithfulness, to mend a hurting heart, heal wounds, heal families.  He is the great Physician, He can heal Mr. Kevin in His timing.

We remain faithful to Him, even when we can't attend services due to Kevin's aggression (he did attack a deacon the last time we attempted to attend worship services).  I know Jesus will heal him in His due time, give him the peace he needs, and show him how to grow.

God knew when He gave me Kevin that the road would be hard.  Praise Him, He is there to walk down the road with us!

Great is thy faithfulness!

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